Saturday, June 30, 2007

This Man is My New Hero

(In my best Marv Albert voice): YYYESSS!!!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Lemony Snicket plays the accordian

I am newly aware of the connection between the fictional character Lemony Snicket and a favorite music group of mine, the Magnetic Fields. Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket, is the accordian player in the Magnetic Fields. He also wrote the insightful (and lengthy) interview with Stephin Merritt included with the "69 Love Songs" box set.

Interesting. I don't know what I'll do with the information, but it's interesting.

Monday, June 18, 2007

The sign that it's time to move.



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Edit: This sign is located in San Francisco.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Meanwhile, Barack Obama Takes less than 90 days to play the race card

Barack Obama claims that there's a 'quiet riot' brewing among black Americans. He says that they are frustrated, and that white politicians vilify them and ignore their travails.

Mr. Obama, I thought better of you.

Less than 90 days and he's already played the race card. How can he govern the majority? I don't think that he can. And I used to think differently.

OFFICIAL SCNA BUSINESS: Communique AR-070605

To: All SCNA Officers
Fr: Eggs N. Grits, ÜC, SCNA
Re: AR-070605 WANTED: Andy Rupert, aka A Rupert, aka Preacher Boy

ATTENTION ALL SWORN OFFICERS of SCNA:

Please aid in the apprehension of this quasi-Saabista.

USE OF MINOR NAGGING AND OTHER IRRITATING DIALOG TO AID CAPTURE IS AUTHORIZED.

REGARDS,

/s/Eggs N. Grits
HERR ÜBER COMMANDANT
SCNA OFFICE OF INTEGRITY

Monday, June 04, 2007

Swade disses Saab, Warms up to Hummer!


Trollhattan, Sweden - In an incredible reversal of thought, Steven Wade (aka Swade), author and avid Saab supporter, has made the move that nobody expected -- he's decided to support GM's newest division, Hummer, in their quest to become the world's most hated automotive brand.

"Once I saw how at home the H3 looked in Stockholm, I simply couldn't deny it any longer," Swade proclaimed on his first trip to Saab's mother country. "It's a bit on the large side, but if it works in an old European city like Stockholm, just imagine how one will look in my driveway in Hobart!"

Swade went on to gesture emphatically towards his new-found passion. "You've got to love the bling!", he said, adding, "And the crash test ratings are phenominal! The Hummer H2 and H3 simply crush other vehicles on contact. Who needs air bags when you've got Newtonian physics on your side?"

Of course, this leaves thousands of Trollhattan Saab readers in a bit of a quandry. "I simply can't believe it," said Steve Shannon, the newly appointed President of Saab USA. "I was counting on the buzz from TrollhattanSaab.net to introduce the all-new 2008 Saab 9-3 here in the US. You can't replace word-of-mouth advertising like that. I'm on the phone now with Jan-Ake to discuss how we'll handle a crisis of this magnitude. It's a huge loss."


It is rumored that Swade has also secretly been courting the Alfa Romeo community, but that Hummer eventually won him over with it's overall style and sensibilities.


In a parting shot, Mr. Wade says this to his former readers: "You dorks and your ignition switches between your seats. Grow up. Get a REAL ride like the H3."


----AP-----(not)

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Another great reason to drive s Saab convertible!

The IIHS rated the Saab 9-3 convertible tops in its first-ever test of convertibles!

Saab rules again!

Friday, June 01, 2007

Andrew Speaker, Selfish Boor

Andrew Speaker is the man recently quarantined with a difficult case of tuberculosis after endangering people on two continents and people on two Transatlantic flights (one of which was scheduled specifically to evade detection). He risked the health of hundreds of people simply to enjoy a lavish European wedding and a jet-set honeymoon.

This man epitomizes the 'me first' entitlement mentality that pervades so much of our society at the moment.

He didn't care that he could infect hundreds or thousands (by proxy even more!) with a deadly disease.
He didn't care that he could tax an already sagging medical infrastructure on two continents.
He didn't care that he could cost the world millions in treatment costs and disinfecting efforts.

All he cared about was himself. Period.

He's smart, educated, completely capable of understanding the situation. He's a lawyer, after all. His father, also a lawyer, helped to justify his decision, so I guess that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Together, they made plans to defy the wishes of the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and the advice of his personal physician and expose many to a very difficult to treat strain of TB. Mr. Speaker flew to France knowing that he was a modern-day Typhoid Mary in the worst possible scenario: on a jumbo jet full of potential victims for 8+ hours. Yet he he was selfish enough to do it anyway.

His defense is weak; he claims that the CDC didn't tell him he couldn't fly. He and his father maintain that the CDC told him that he shouldn't fly. Hmmm... this is a distinction that only a lawyer could maintain with a straight face. If you shouldn't fly for the risk of hundreds of people on the plane, wouldn't you honor that request due out of regard for fellow human beings? I would. I'm sure. But I'm the sort that actually cares for others. Mr. Speaker obviously isn't.

Mr. Speaker's protestation that his fiancee and her daughter were already in France at the time of his diagnosis also rings hollow. He implies that he had little choice but to carry through with the plans for his wedding in Europe without regard for the hundreds and thousands of potential TB victims that he contacted along the way. What?? For the sake of all of these people, you couldn't call your wife-to-be to arrange alternate plans? You spoiled brat of a man! It's all about you, isn't it?

Finally, Andrew Speaker claims that he didn't know the seriousness of his situation until the CDC contacted him in Italy and informed him that his strain of TB required immediate quarantine. What??? If you have TB, you avoid contact with others, no matter what strain you have! You defend exposing these people because your tuberculosis 'wasn't that bad'?? It's TB, for crying out loud! It's deadly. Capice?

I could go on, but I believe that my point is made: Andrew Speaker, you will live in infamy the rest of your days. And I hope that you wear that burden a long, long time.